As per the weekend hype for both subjects, I tried to follow the John Terry coverage in 3D. Promised a fully immersive experience, I have to admit to being ever so slightly disappointed. Sure, some of the sharper allegations had me ducking as if they were heading my way, and some of the rougher and more difficult to believe edges were smoothed out. And at one point I felt close enough to actually put out a hand and touch some of the more copiously exchanged bodily fluids. But, as ever, it’s wearing the glasses that’s the problem, making you feel, as they do, ever slightly stupid- which, of course, needn’t necessarily be the illusion you hope it is if you’re reading the Sunday tabloids. Nope, it’ll never catch on- which, I don’t know, may prove reassuring for any one of the parties involved.
You would have to ask them, really, though doing this alone possibly wouldn’t be enough to ensure you a straight answer. “Terry scores the winner- you couldn’t make it up” said one Radio 5 commentator on Saturday. Well, no, evidentially you couldn’t, not with the lads he has on retainer. Say what you like about his leadership qualities, his personal choices, and how vigorously he can clap his hands and say ‘come on’ at corners, but when it comes to highly paid lawyers, Terry truly has a team worthy of England captain.
The captain issue has been brought up again, which was thrilling for us that so enjoyed the original debate. Cor, took you back didn’t it? The discourse, the expert opinion, the lingering questions pertaining to what exactly it is the captain’s role actually is outside of organising the whip round for the driver on away trips. There is not another country in the world as dopily captivated by such a non subject, and when some chump in the News of the World commented that it is “one of the most sought after roles in world football” I would have been convinced he was speaking ironically if only irony were a quality in the armour of your average News of the World journalist.
What the captaincy issue did do was shift the story uncomfortably into the realm of ‘public interest’, which enabled the papers to treat it as an ‘issue’ and not as the tacky exercise in underwear drawer rifling it actually was. One of the girls interviewed about her past with Terry donated some of her fee to the Haiti earthquake fund, which was perfectly decent of her. But it also served to highlight just how squalid and petty a story this was. It’s hard to imagine that Tony Blair wasn’t grateful for the distraction too. As ever, you’re with the press on the topic of free speech. It’s just a shame that it has to be this press.
Nobody came out of this well, really, and how impressed were we supposed to be, incidentally, that Terry put in a performance at Burnley? I know it was supposed to say something about his fortitude, but from this distance it also seemed to say something about a charmless lack of remorse. His tough guy stare after scoring, for example. What point did he imagine had been proved? Unless it was one about the value of having a man on the post at corners- which seems unlikely- I fear he may misinterpreted some concerns, which were never really based on his ability to find space in the opposition penalty area and power in a header.
Oh, it’s all very embarrassing this isn’t it? Even the nice-ish elements in the story leave a disquieting taste. The ‘Team Bridge’ t-shirts may have seemed like a supportive gesture to one of the wronged parties, but the wording as taken from the Jordan and Peter Andre relationship is telling: real life human emotion reduced to tawdry catchphrases, and childish ganging up and point scoring. Is there a dignity defying public gesture that Carlos Tevez- who has a bit of history with Terry of course, (probably not in that sense, though I'm yet to study all the coverage)- is immune to? Never mind awkwardly scheduled International fixtures, in the interest of always having his full quota of strikers available, Roberto Mancini wants to be grateful they’ve scrapped Celebrity Big Brother after this year’s run.
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